Tag: diary

You are all you have….

by disguisemeforever, posted in Covid-19, Corona virus, diary, Gratitude, Hope, Jouney, Letter, Life, love, Melbourne, relationship

Today while cleaning my bookshelf I came across my old diary. I randomly opened a page where I read the below excerpt dated May, 2014…almost six years back…

“Melbourne, the city of music, food and culture. The city which has embraced the culture of the world in itself. The city knows how to enjoy life, how to sing fearlessly, dance frictionless and live endlessly! It’s been more than a year here and I have never even looked at it honestly. But today, when I smell Autumn, I feel I am still alive, somewhere inside.

What do I love most about the city? Oh, the maple leaves, just love them! Red, green, brown, yellow, so many coloured maple leaves, I just love them! They teach me life, they make the city colourful, they are just so Victorian!

Now it’s Autumn here, the city is all Red! The smell is fresh and wild. The weather is calling. When I walk alone and the strangers smile back, I feel less scared, I feel more like home now.

Do I love Melbourne? Why not! The city has changed my life in just a year. It has taken away everything but returned back my own self to me. I am knowing myself now and honestly am much better a person than many! I now love myself, take care of myself and don’t have to rely on anyone! I love this unconditional me. Everything is gonna be okay.

When I see people, street artists dancing, singing, playing musical instruments, so carefree, on the road, with all their passion, I feel strong. I feel I can make it…make it to live, to love and be loved.

Melbourne,

May 24th, 2014”

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I couldn’t stop smiling and also had tears after I read this. The innocence in the writeup and gust of emotions hit me, but what amused me the most was my positivity!

Today we live in a strange time. COVID-19 has taught us many life lessons, shown us the reality of many friends and family and also made us value both things and people more. Life is never easy and you don’t need a virus to remind you that! But we have to sail through, we have to at least try…after all these years, whenever I see someone on the road, walking sadly, I smile at them because I know that once I was that sad person and how powerful a simple smile can be. The tiniest gesture of kindness can heal a soul, mend a broken heart and bring happiness to someone. We all are flawed, none are perfect, we make mistakes and learn and then make the same mistakes again. We all are fighting our own battles and hence kindness matters, more than before now. Treasure your loved ones but most importantly, treasure yourself, you are all you have! 🙂

Dear Diary…

by disguisemeforever, posted in Gratitude, Jouney, Journey, Letter, Life

Dear Diary,

I am missing you a lot. When suddenly your pages were over, I was crammed with a sudden vacuum, despair, and fear. I shuffled through to the previous pages in the hope of coming across another blank page where I can write my thoughts down but there were none! You were suddenly over. I still started scribbling in the white spaces on the top of the margin area, or wherever I could find any half-filled pages. I just didn’t want to let go of you. I wanted to hold on to you till all the white spaces were filled with my thoughts, words, emotions, and feelings. I was possessive. Knowing the fact that I can always buy a new one, that there are millions of diaries being sold in this world everyday, I just couldn’t believe that my personal diary is not going to be with me anymore. It was a painful feeling.

I spent all night reading you from the scratch. Every page I read, my memories were reinvigorated. I could see things, feel them and sometimes even smell them. So many dates in a person’s life, so many wonderful experiences and some bitter ones. Some dates which are important and some events, which make the other dates important. All the events were very carefully articulated with my favourite fountain pen. I remember those moments when I wrote them and slowly we were Confidant. As days and dates turned through the pages, I started feeling better remembering the journey I had made in my life. ‘The only thing constant in life, was change!”

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It was dawn when I read the last page and then slowly closed you and held you close to my heart. When I closed my eyes, a few drops of tears rolled down my cheeks. It was as if I voyaged several years over a single night. Can’t believe we spent so many years together and now suddenly you and I will not be together anymore. But that’s life isn’t it? But you will always be close to my heart and whenever we want, will spend time together revisiting the memory lane. You will always be a Confidant and will always be closest to my heart.

Lovingly yours…