A new journey begins…

Archive for June, 2014

Relationship – Just a definition

What is a relationship? As per the English dictionary, it is the state of being connected. Two people or thing can connect, only when there is a conjoint harmony. Otherwise it is not a relationship, not a bond. Is it always Love that brings two people together or there are supplementary intentions coupled? May be lust, affection, kinship, charm, impetuousness, serendipity or just some sinful intent.

The way I see it, any relationship, is a frontier, a demarcation, a contour, a threshold, a restriction in this limitless vista. We split relationship into classifications and subsequently tag them. Some we call friends, some spouses and similar. We then apportion everyone their own precincts. Then do a role play. Its comical but factual. That’s how we humans delineate relationship.

If its just a state of being connected, then why so many clauses, restrictions, delineations? Why can’t we just breathe free and be gratified when there is unprejudiced love in that connection! Why does our heart always yearns beyond? We tag, we limit, we envisage and then we shatter. Be it the society or the soul, why are there so many frontiers in a relationship, which technically is just a state of being! Greek philosopher Aristotle said, ” A true friend is one soul in two bodies”. He also said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies”. So, did he mean that true love and true friendship is just being one soul? Perplexing, however that’s philosophy!

Relationships should be fabricated with love and philanthropy, and not by demarcations. It should be free and vast like the sky and deep and soulful like the ocean. No precincts should ever delimit it. Its just a connection between two beings, not necessarily concerning two genders or even two mortals. A man and his pet can be best friends forever. To conclude, like Socrates says,” A system of morality which is based on relative emotional values is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.” So, the state of being connected should only and only be catalysed by LOVE.

 

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Autobiography of a “Day”……

I am a day, just a Day. Not a good, unscrupulous, shitty or splendid one; am just another day. What demarcates me? A Calendar, the Sun or the individuals….or just some irrational adjectives? I commence at dawn, with the Sun wakening me by its earnest emissions. Sometimes, the Clouds wake me as well, when the Sun’s slightly lethargic. As I wake up, the humans express their eccentric reactions concerning me! Some say, “Today is so important for me”, some jinx me, some compliment me and some are so impersonal about me. No one ever solicits what I think of myself! Who am I? How am I doing? What’s my dialect?

They say, “Morning shows the day”. What does the day show in turn? Well, as I unfold, I share my virtues to everyone, my grandeur, my story and my expressions. I am sunny, I am calm, I am stormy and sometimes I am cold. When I cry, it rains, when am cold, it snows, when am quiet, a storm follows, when am happy, the sun shines. I am a joyful youth, a wise old woman, or a stubborn teen-ager or a passionate lover. I am your companion, your friend and I am your enemy. You remember me, disremember me, overlook me and sometimes cherish me. I am your birthday, your first anniversary, your first kiss or your bereavement. I am music, dance, flowers, rainbow and the sky. I am You.

Ever wondered what happens to the day after dusk? Does the day end, or perish or get vanished? The day, like you, gets tired, sleepy, exhausted. I seek home, a near one, a warm hug, a shoulder to lean and a smile to comfort. That’s when the night cuddles me in its arms and puts me to slumber. I sleep like a baby and dream of the nightfall, the stars tease me in my dreams and the moon safeguards me. I sleep until dawn, thinking, “Tomorrow I will be a better day”.

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My dearest Kolkata….

Was missing You a lot today, so thought of writing something about the ‘City of Joy’. Have hardly lived in the city for one and half years of my life, yet there is something, which makes me nostalgic about the city time and again.

The Kolkata rains, the noisy roads, the condemning bongs and the traffic jams. What a city! Art, culture, literature, history, as if a complete manuscript in itself. A city, which never siestas. A city, which awakens at the dawn and appreciates every moment of the day from the newspaper vendors throwing newspapers in the houses with amazing gradient, through the rowdy ‘Dalhousie’ streets full of yummy street food, till the ‘live’ rock band at ‘Someplace Else’. A city, which breathes, lives and teaches how to live.

I have seen Kolkata at night. The empty roads, the footpaths full of people who are peacefully asleep, the deserted richshaws, the neon street lights, the tram lines, the empty buses, and the lights of the Howrah Bridge and the Ganges..a sight which often makes me selfishly nostalgic. Euphoria.

If Kolkata is ‘Kalighaat’, it’s also ‘Tantra’. If Kolkata is ‘Victoria Memorial’, it’s also ‘Nandan’. If Kolkata is ‘Mohan Bagan’, it’s also ‘Sourav Ganguly’! If Kolkata is old, it’s also contemporary. Such an assortment can only be conveyed by this city. Am far away, yet in every city, I try to unearth Kolkata. As if it’s My City, where I belong. This selfish nostalgia might someday bring me closer to ‘You’, but for now, this long distance bond is the only tactic. Miss You Kolkata.

Love,

Me…

My first day at the Swimming lesson – An Anecdote

My first day at the Swimming class. Chilling Melbourne but the nice and warm pool water, the friendly trainer , the sky above and the world under water. Firstly, I was taught to form bubbles by my mouth and nose under water. I was to take a deep breath and go down and form bubbles. It was like music under water..each bubble was like a new rhythm, a new beat, a new tone.

I was then told that our body is like a sea-saw and more we bend our head inside water, the more will our feet float and it was ridiculously true J! After few tries and holding the hands of my trainer and taking deep breaths and forming bubbles..I was sort of floating. It was amazing when for the first time my feet floated up and out of the pool water and I felt the chill of the air on my heels..was beautiful. Was like when you try and try and finally reach the sky and fly! Loved that moment.

Then I tried some postures where I was holding a floating yellow board and trying to get myself together like a baby inside the mother’s womb and then kick the walls with my feet and try and float clinging on the board. It was like taking your first steps and learning to walk. Amazing. Then I tried the same exercise floating on my back. The trainer said our lungs hold much more air than we actually think it does, so at any moment we are still less liable to drown than we think and shouldn’t panic.

Nice tips and the music inside the water kept me going. Every time I was holding my breath, it was as if to strain at the leash and was freeing the deep-rooted accumulated pain within. Every time I went above the water and took a breath, was as if the first breathe have even taken and thanked God each time for keeping me breathing. I valued life more than ever.

The final exercise for floating was the best. I was supposed to stand and put my head inside the water, form bubbles and then slowly cuddle myself up like a balloon and try and float. The first try was funny as I was all tensed and scared. In the third try, I managed it and closed my eyes and was like having visions and my brain was all numb and at peace. Then when I was out of breath, I opened my eyes and saw a big demon in my visions…was weird..was that the demon me? Or who was it…was it the demon inside us or was it some demon who had hurt me?. Weird. I then came out of the water and was coughing as water had got into my lungs and throat. Was so wonderful to cuddle myself up like a balloon as if a self-hug! Woo!

 

I was done for the day and while leaving the water, it felt like leaving a friend and hence promised to see the water again next week and have some more visions and listen to some more music and know myself more closely and love life.

The Wish

Tonight you kiss the sky, the leaf

And you will become the Princess…

Tonight you touch the heart, the soul

and it will become Golden…

Tonight you soar, you fly, sky-high

And you will be set Free….

Tonight you make my night

And I will become Thee.

 

Let dreams build..

And love cheer,

Let the flowers bloom…

And the Gods hear,

Let there be light…

And there will be so,

Let tonight be the night

When I love you more….

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Belief – A Sacrifice

Belief – A Sacrifice

 

Human belief is a kind of martyr. Belief is always escorted by trepidation and flux. But we still believe in belief. The action of trusting someone is more overshadowing than the apprehension of being betrayed. It just takes us few words of love and few gestures of care, to trust someone. A faith, which more than reasoning, was just some “adrenaline gust, may be complemented with tequila and a fragile twinkling”.

Just to remark, that fragile moment was not love, it was just a hope that this might be something like the ignition of love. Hereafter relationship instigates. Days feel like summer and life appears too diminutive to envelop the euphoria. It takes few more moments to stab that exhilaration into expectation and later into regrets. We tend to forget that Perfection is not an attribute, its a state. No one is congenitally perfect!!

What follows are a series of sacrifices to accommodate that fragile and instinctively developed faith. The softer gender is generally more sacrificial. Like a disguised facet, sometimes belief walks up to us, enchants us and then leaves us in agony. Still we hope, that there is a silver lining somewhere. We live as long as there is hope and its hope that kills us someday. These feelings like trust, faith, and hope are synonymous but conjured.

Should we then assess someone before believing? Like Hemingway says “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” Well times are eccentric now, and feel we should assess ourselves, if not the person, whom we want to confine to. Humans have sacrificed for love since time anonymous. Have turned a slayer for love and got slew. Still the conviction we see in the eyes of the loved ones, make us visionless. Later we either pretend to be exultant or become bleak. Human creed is deceiving, its detrimental and seldom rewarding. Like Alexander Pushkin says, “Everything is a sacrifice to your memory.”

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love

The retrospective of life, is often followed by regrets and repentance. The vengeance is, time is unidirectional. Some forgive, some forget. Life does go on. Not sure if breathing and living can be termed synonyms, however at some point of time, they do behave synonymic. Being condemnatory of our past, is sometimes transcendent. The definitive truth still remains unchanged. Evolution heals the past abrasions but the marks are unconcealed. Seasons change and so do time, people and situations. But deep inside, there is still that one person, whom we try and rifle in everyone. The pursuit endures until bereavement.

True love is a misapprehension, it’s fictitious. But truth is perpetual. We love because we believe, not because we judge. No one can vouch on the candour of one’s love. Love is eternity but true love is a limbo to the modern man. The only truth is time. Life consists of moments, moments which we cherish, moments we desire, moments long lost and some moments which we spurn. Each such reminiscent moment defines our life, our love, our belief.

Mistakes are irremediable and so are words. Some words touch us profoundly and others hurt us with the same magnitude. Words you can’t forget and words you don’t want to reminisce. Words you don’t think of before speaking and words once pronounced, can’t be taken back. The damage non speculated at the moment, creates a memoir later.

No one dies without someone, but if breathing can be called living is still an unrequited quest. Can we demarcate life? The answer resides in life itself. Such a capricious mystery it is! Not even a prodigious gumshoe can uncover it. The only alternative is to be incarnate. The best ploy to be ecstatic is not to be despondent. Sounds rhetoric but is pragmatic. Happiness is the crux of life but moments are the mien. Unrequited Love is always convoyed by agony, so, behold!